December 16, 1920                   Age 29

By James M. Gould                The St Louis Star and Times

Baldly stated – without any personal intent to refer to hirsute shortcomings – Bill Doak has become an author. Not that there is anything especially heinous in Bill using the pen instead of the “pill”. The Cardinal pitcher has the same equipment as most writers – two hands. But, Bill is a modest, retiring youth, never seeking the limelight – or he has been up to the present time.  Now, however, the success of his maiden effort, reviewed as it was by the toughest bunch of critics in the world – baseball magnates – may impel Bill to emulate Harold Bell Wright and make the efforts of such famous sob-sisters as Laura Jean Libbey and Mrs. E. D. E. N. Southworth appear weak and watery. “Watery” seems to be an appropriate word, for the plot of Bill’s great story tells of the sad plight of several poor but honest spit-ball pitchers.

Some Slow Music, Please.

You see, ‘twas this way.  Bill, with other members of quite a sizable bunch of players, had become by persuasion addicted to the use of the spitball. These husky hurlers may have been said to hold the spitball in the hollow of their hands – except when they are propelling it in the general direction of some poor batsman. Well, the sobs begin to appear when, not so very long ago, baseball moguls decided that the wet delivery must go. Pitchers afflicted with this terrible spitball disease were to be allowed to use it during 1920, but never again. There was surprise – nay, dismay – at this decision. Doak and several other stars who had been encouraged to develop this delivery faced hard times in 1921. With Doak in this perilous position were Grimes, Stanley Coveleskie, Urban Shocker of the Browns, Phil Douglas, Marvin Goodwin and other good men and true.

Something must be done and who could be better fitted for a leading role than Blond Bill?  Echo answers “Who?” So the boys got together and, deciding against a round robin, chose Doak to embody sufficient sobs in a written communication to soften the hearts of the flint-souled rules committee.

As It Might Have Read.

Imbued with the spirit of his fellows, Bill drew his trusty fountain pen and wrote. His history-making epistle has not been made public but, it is believed, it read something like this:

“Honored Gentlemen (this is, according to ball players, double flattery ) – Representing several poor, hard-working and down-trodden pitchers, whose only fault in years of service has been the contracting of a habit that has come under your disapproval, I beg leave to present the following facts about us and our dearly beloved delivery, viz., i. e. and to-wit -the spitball.

“Be assured, gentlemen we are not seeking favor just justice. Consider our plight. Having been awarded the degrees of D. S (Doctors of Saliva) for our proficiency in what is termed the spitter we have found ourselves facing the season of 1921 without visible or invisible means of baseball support. Would you, I am choked with tears as I ask it, see Burleigh Grimes driving a street car? Would you condemn Urb Shocker to a milk wagon and make Stanley Coveleskie go back to his duties as a breaker boy in some Shamokin mine? Could you, dry-eyed, decide that Phil Douglas must take his famous shuffle to the uttermost ends of the earth while Marvin Goodwin, the pride of Gordonsville, Va.. went back to a key in a mountain way station? Pause and consider, gentlemen. These be parlous times. The Drys have won everything. Give the Wets this one little sop to their pride.”

Thus far the magnates got when they were startled by the shades of George ‘ Eliot, the aforementioned L. J. Libbey and other winsome weepers of a bygone period. The atmosphere became damp and the shadowy shapes were seen to blush (that is a pretty picture, a shade blushing) at the woeful wailing of Sir William of Pittsburg.

Overcome by Sob-Shock.

Whether the above story is true or not, it is a fact that the magnates of the National League are favorable to permitting the vets to retain their wet-ball stuff, and it is expected that the American League owners, fearing a second attack of sobitis, will agree to avoid punishment, cruel and unusual.

December 1920 Movies…